How I wish I could spend my next long vacation in Port Harcourt.
Why do you say so?
Because it’s a different society.
A society is defined as any collection of people living together in a particular area.
That means you would have a set of people to study and cope with as it is a new society to you.
Wunmi: simple! I will just be
- polite and courteous
- helpful
- assertive
- patient
- and respect others’ rights
Well, that seems simple enough. Those are the same rules for getting along with the different people in your own society.
Can you think of some of the people who make up your society?
Market women
Okada drivers
Teachers
Friends
Some that I can think of are teachers, family friends, peers, and people who belong to the same church or mosque.
Can you think of some differences in how you relate with each of those people?
When I’m at school, I show absolute obedience to all school rules and speak properly. But with an okada driver, I switch to pidgin English to bargain.
Then, with my grandmother, I still behave with respect and I speak our family’s local dialect.
Above all, it’s important to treat everyone with courtesy and respect, and expect the same treatment from them.
I’ve also noticed that here in Nigeria a lot of people of different ethnicities tend to live together.
Despite that, differences may be found in the way people greet each other, dress, and use terms of respect.
Yes! culture is the people’s way of life in any given society. Understanding this also helps us to relate well with people in our society.
Culture will therefore help determine:
- our behaviour
- who we are likely to be friends with
- the way we dress
…but I still have some problems with the role culture plays though. Sometimes culture can hold on to ideas that I know aren’t true, or are unfair to me.
I feel the same way, Wunmi. There are some things that my culture expects of me that may not suit my lifestyle. For example My dad won’t allow me become a Nurse because he feels it’s a woman’s profession.
I also feel it is unfair of my culture to feel that females deserve no education. But how does one deal with these things without being seen as disrespectful?
I suggest dialogue, rather than being silent, especially when your culture is expecting something that could be harmful to you or someone else.
To be silent when your family wants you to get married early could be really harmful.
Or keeping silent when your elders start making decisions about your future – where you’ll study, what your career will be… You should always speak up when decisions affecting your life are being made, or if you see someone doing something wrong.
For example, I saw my uncle beat my aunt for spilling dry rice on the floor. Now, I know that it’s wrong, but our culture says that I can’t say anything to my uncle about it.
What did you do?
I didn’t know what to do, so I spoke to my mom about it. She was worried about getting involved in their marriage, so she spoke to her father about it.
You see, my uncle believes that as a man, he should not be questioned about the way he treats his wife. But he also believes in treating his father with respect. So my grandfather was able to talk to my uncle about the way he relates to his wife when my mother couldn’t.
That’s still pretty serious, though. What if he doesn’t listen?
My mom also talked to my aunt and told her that she can reject abuse by standing up to her husband, even though our culture frowns at a woman doing that.
You’re pretty lucky to have a family that can get past their own culture that way.
I know! It’s because my mom and my dad both learned about human rights when they were in school, and they’re happy I’m learning about it now.
Well, I guess you’ll be fine in Port Harcourt, the same way you’re fine here.
I hope so! I just remember these rules for interacting with a new society:
- Try to learn as much as you can about the culture.
- Choose your friends wisely.
- Use a respectful manner of speech.
- Wear culturally appropriate clothing.
Well, enjoy your trip!
Thanks Tunde! I’ll see you soon.
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