I am day and night (30 mins)

Everyone has the ability to be good and bad, weak and strong, passive and aggressive. And, of course, assertive. When we are assertive we are neither passive nor aggressive. We are fair to ourselves and to the other person.

Step 1:
Take a piece of paper or open the worksheet by clicking here.
Step 2:
Fill in the left column - under 'Times when I am aggressive' put at least two times when you might find yourself feeling angry or reacting angrily to someone.
Fill in the right column - under "Times when I am passive' put at least two times when you might find yourself not reacting when someone is unfair to you.
Step 3:
Choose one of incidents you have written that you would really like to handle better in the future to practice a different behaviour.
Step 4:
Working in pairs practice the your problem incident but try being assertive. You can use the assertive tips below.
For example, if you usually get angry at your little brother for taking too long on the way to school, so that you shout at him or hit him, now practice solving the problem assertively without resorting to aggressive or violent behaviour. Or, if there is a time when you are usually passive, practice saying your needs instead of keeping quiet.

Assertive tips
  • Be clear and consistent about what you want
  • Speak up as soon as possible
  • Focus on the behavior that caused a problem and not on the person
  • Tell what feeling you have when the problem arises
  • Ask clearly for what you do want to happen
  • Ask the other person if that is doable for them
More tips:
If you want to speak to someone about a problem try this formula:
When I noticed that ..... (the problem)
I felt...... (the emotion you felt)
What I would like to ask you to do is......